Teenage Dream

Raised in a catholic school, keeping a diary is one of the pre requisites. We are obliged to record our homework, activities, teacher’s notes, then signed by parents (or so they think it was 😁) But I took an extra mile in my diary keeping not because I was a teachers pet but I wanted to remeber things. I want to remember how it feels to be young and how I was so full of love that I wrote so much! I wrote many things, like how I stole my crush’s diary and kept it for a week 😁 dreaming of a love story.

Then I met heartbreak and longingness that I had come to question why things happen. Is God just playing around my feelings? Now I am older, and I got bills to pay, I found an answer. He does not play with us nor is He just sitting on his throne doing nothing, ticking time away and watching. He is more greater than emotions, even greater than my best memories. And He knows things, he knows how I feel. The only difference is He writes a better story, better than a teenage diary.



Precious Pearl

Excited for the weekend, I already pictured myself wearing my otd before I went to bed the other night. I wished to pair my regular pearl earings that I oh so love with my otd. I was confident I’d find it where I last placed it but lo and behold this mornin it wasn’t there. You know how you would sacrifice your time, effort and energy searching for that missing pair when you have other pairs of earing to wear anyway, even at the cost of getting late? (ah the frustrations of being a woman sometimes!)

I was reminded today from the songs I sang earlier that “He would leave the 99 to search for the missing 1”. I had been that missing one. I’ve had days when I just wanted to get lost and away from the warm crowd of love and concern. I didn’t realize I still matter. The world could live without me, but somehow I was seeked and found and was given a purpose. I just hope I would live to that purpose. Just like a pearl earing, small and simple, but it’s definitely worth the seek for I’ll be a bit more shining shimmering splendid 



“I got lost, in your eyes…” Tiffany’s song playing in my head reminiscing of how I intentionally got lost this afternoon. Its actually one of the best things I like to do sometimes-heading to a place without googling it first, and instead, I ask friends for direction, letting me know they care. It somehow gives me a reason to connect with friends, people, and the City that I am in. I don’t get to do this often coz I’m often late (I don’t have time to get lost) but today, I indulged myself in this privilege.

Walking at the concrete streets of Al Qouz, I was blown away by the strong breeze as if telling me that summer will be here soon (reality:sand storm happening). I remeber how my friends and I got lost on our way to Fujairah, on our way to Jebel Hafeet. It turned out to be one of the best adventures I had in UAE so far. So now, the sun has set, but I still wonder… where to get lost this time?


Auto Pilot

When I was playing classical piano way back 10 years ago, I practiced everyday to the point of playing the piece with my eyes closed. I let the piece be a part of me. I internalized it that moving to the next measure would come out naturally. My emotions and the music become one when I used to play.6 years later I found myself working in a medical field where my emotions shouldn’t be a part of the routine. What I needed was more presence of mind and more talking! ” I apologize for auto piloting doc, I was caught up with the routine”, I was explaining to my supervisor. I discovered I had to play a different piece this time, one that requires me to have more focus. Witholding my confused emotions, I found the endpoint to what I do. The purpose is for them to have better vision. The music is for them, not for me this time. I will navigate them to see clearer, no auto pilot, but more presence of mind.


Peter Pan

I woke up wondering about a peculiar dream this morning.  You were Peter Pan, I am Wendy, and we were flying. It’s amazing what happy thoughts can do, even if it’s just a dream I would love to fly away with you.

Have you heard of the story? Wendy falls in love soon after. Guess who? Peter Pan, no other. But they are just not meant for each other you see. He’s a free-spirited-mischievous pan, and she’s jealous of tiger lily.

I catch myself day dreaming too, you holding on to my hand. My thoughts fly away into some kind of magic moon. Somehow I know this is going nowhere. I guess I really have to wake up from this Neverland affair.

Someday, if the moon is still awake, and I’ll see a wink in his eye, let’s fly away together.  Let’s get away,  to the stars beyond the blue. There’s a Never Land waiting , where all  happy dreams come true. IMG-20170319-WA0009


Manic Monday

I woke up today with a hefty weight I just couldn’t get up. Okay, I admit every morning is difficult, because I’m not a morning person really, but some days are even harder if you know what I mean. It felt like I was trapped in a mundane routine.

I tried my best to knock myself out of it coz I got bills to pay, I’m an adult now. Then I just realized hey I just ticked off a bucketlist from my 2017! I shouldn’t be feeling downcasted like it’s another routinary week. I thank God there is always something to look forward to and there’s always something better to do. There’s always something to be motivated about, like my morning coffee too . So what’s the surprise challenge for today?





My idle mind is swimming to the moments we spent together…We got close and you held my hand. I  want to linger some more on these saccharine thoughts of you.

Strangers pass by and I search the air for your perfume. I wished to catch your familiar scent somehow.Do you realize how you bring compressions in my chest? If you only knew how I hold my breath wishing to exhale in the rhythm of yours, my heart is unrest.

Like the flock of girls that writes their verve for you, can I just conform and join the flock too? I just needed to let this out somehow, it’s killing me. I’m so liking you, very obviously.

Can you just let me be fond of you? Just let me feed my thoughts of your arms and chest. I can only wish to touch you, from your shoulders to your face…Waiting for you to connect with me, I’m dying here, reach out for me. 20170324_161145.jpg


Simplicity Bliss

One of the most fascinating thing I learned from my cinematography class was to not over-use transitions. I used to play around video editing that I’ll use every possible transition in the app available! I was like a mad fanatic, bloodsucking everything nice from the app. Flare here and there, bokeh all over, twisting transition,stars and post it on facebook. Apparently, that’s not how the pro’s do it.

I was humbled. How marvelous a skilled artist can turn something so simple into something beautiful. I thought I had a knack for simple things: simple wedding, simple living… I began to look deeper into what makes an artist craft so beautiful. And I realized its the simple details they consider more. Like how I wanted a confidante more than an expensive ring, or how I’d rather do conversation over a simple dish than a fine dining with facebook on my phone. Respect for artists who sees beauty in simplicity bliss.


Press On

I had always been oriented since the moment I stepped abroad, that nothing is really certain. My dad used to lecture me to not be complacent because nothing is permanent: not the job, not the citizenship, not the people, not the friends.

I already knew things come and go. I’ve felt the pain of people moving on but still I can’t help but get attached to friends, the places, and the activities. I guess it’s because I knew in my heart I can never really enjoy this life without giving a part of me too. So when its starting to hurt, I will still press on, afterall I’m never alone.


Lantern Lighting 🏮 

Isn’t it a wonder there are 7.5 billion diverse people in the world.So many difference and oddities and yet, we still find friends whom we share our life with. I decided to do a remake of one of the most treasured moments I had with these amazing peeps and I remember how blessed I am to have found them.

How do you get along with diverse people? how do you deal with oddities? I guess you just have to love them first and the rest will follow. I know a man who laid down His life for His friends, because of love. I couldn’t have done any better. It is far more greater than a lantern lighting. For now, will just keep on loving them friends.